PS never stop living
by StarzieCat
Summary: So this is quite sad. It's mainly about Grell's last few days. It's about how Grell sees himself and the world so yeah. Rated T for language. Its really just the hurt without the comfort. Please don't kill me and prepare some tissues just in case... Ok ready...Set...Read! P.s.I might write a bit more so yeah.
1. I love you Sebby

Grell walked into his small apartment. He slammed the door behind him and sat in front of it. Then the tears started to fall. Why must Sebastian always play with his emotions. He always tried so hard to make the butler like him but he always ended up like this. Every time he told himself that he wouldn't let Sebastian get to him that he would go to work and forget all about the butler he loved so dearly but he knew he was lying to himself. He could never forget, never stop loving that man. That demon. It was almost laughable to even think about.

Everyone always thought that he was just playing, that his feelings were faked. But it wasn't true. Will was just as bad as Sebastian. Grell had confessed his love to Will once but...but...Will just laughed, hit him on the head with his death scythe and told him not to be so stupid. He had cried then too. But as always no one had cared. Grell hadn't told anyone about any of this. Who could he tell? There was no one he knew who actually cared about him. If he were to die all anyone would care about would be the overtime... they would probably even breathe a sigh of relief. Grell he wasn't going to cry. He picked himself up, smiled, dried his eyes and left his apartment. He kept walking until he reached his office.

20 minutes later

Grell had dozed off but he was supposed to be working. Will walked in. He was annoyed and gave his most hated red head 3 weeks overtime. Then he smiled to himself. He decided to give a special job to Grell. An assassination. The assassination of Sebastian Michaelis to be exact.

Grell woke up to Will shutting the door to his office. He had put the extra paperwork and the brief of the new mission in front of Grell just before he had left. Grell read through the Mission report and laughed softly to himself. Will really must hate him. He calmly picked up his death-scythe and walked to the location where he was to assassinate his love.

Sebastian was walking through the streets of London running errands for his young master. He so far had collected a new walking stick, the ingredients for tonight's supper and some more tea leaves. He only had one thing left to do. He was to put some flowers on the grave of the young master's aunt, Madam Red. That was where Grell was waiting and ready to spring into action. He readied his chainsaw to swing just as Sebastian came into range. He swung a second to early and Sebastian spotted him. Bassy was not happy. In fact he was furious that he had been stopped while completing his last task. He easily took Grell's death-scythe then realized the reaper wasn't fighting back.

"Why aren't you fighting back you stupid Git? I am about to kill you shouldn't you at least be trying to stop me?" Sebastian yelled. Grell gave him a sad smile. "Don't smile like that, What is wrong with you? WHY DON'T YOU FIGHT!" Sebastian yelled swinging the scythe ready to kill the reaper who was so calmly watching him from where he had jumped back to.

"Quite simply because I don't really care what happens to me now. I won't hurt you because I love you and the only way I've ever been able to tell you that is if you are wounding me. So I guess that is the way I will always have to say it. I am sorry if I stopped you from completing an order. You can go back to work now. I will most likely loose my job for this but that's okay. Goodbye Sebastian. I will say it one more time I love-" Sebastian swung the scythe striking a fatal blow then walked away dropping the death scythe.

Minutes later Will walked over to Grell. He had been given an order to make sure that his reckless colleague had not just decided to take a detour to a spa or something. He spotted the death scythe chainsaw that Grell was so proud of. He picked it up and then spotted the familiar shade of red that was always associated with overtime and trouble. He saw Grell lying on the ground taking what he thought was a nap. He walked over to Grell and nudged him with his foot.

"Get up you dumb-ass. For falling asleep during work you have two weeks overtime." Will said in an uncaring voice that he always used with Grell. Then he noticed the blood on his foot that hadn't been there earlier. Grell was bleeding heavily.

"Is that you Will?" asked Grell in a small shaky voice. "Oh it is! I am sorry I couldn't complete my task but you see he got me." He continued taking shallow breaths.

"Get up and stop playing you stupid...stupid...GIT!" Will yelled. This was just the kind of thing Grell would do. Fake a fatal attack to get attention...wasn't it? Yes it was! Will thought to himself.

"I'm sorry. I love you Will. Goodbye Will. My darling. My love, my only-" At that Grell's eyes became grey and the light and colour left him. Will noticed a small letter in his hand adressed to him and Sebastian. He opened it carefully expecting it to say something like "HA FOOLED YOU!".

But it didn't. Then Will realized that the Red Reaper was gone. Gone forever. A single tear fell from his eye. The letter read:

 _ **Dear Will and Sebastian,**_

 _ **I am sorry I never got to tell you this but you both were the only lights in**_

 _ **my otherwise dark and lonely life. I know neither of you ever actually liked me,**_

 _ **but my last wish is that you both attend whatever small funeral is held. But I**_

 _ **don't either of you to cry. I want you both to smile and remember all the good**_

 _ **times we had even if they were few and far between. I never want you to feel alone**_

 _ **as I did so if you are ever lonely I will always watch over you. Just know that lots**_

 _ **of people care about both of you never forget that.**_

 _ **Yours forever,**_

 _ **Grell Sutcliffe.**_

 _ **P.S. Never stop living.**_

Will couldn't remember when he had ever been kind to Grell but he had still cared deeply about them both. To endure all the hatred from both of them yet still care deeply...he was one of the bravest people they had ever known. Yet they had still been so cruel to him. They only knew after he was gone.

The funeral wasn't a very big ceremony, in fact only four people people attended! Everyone else was out partying that the nuisance was gone. Only Will, Sebastian, Undertaker and Ronald had actually cared about him. "Goodbye Grell" they all said in unison. The man that no one had loved was finally at peace. They had buried him in his favourite shade of Red and placed Red roses around him.

Years later

Will was visiting Grell's grave. He placed a red rose in front of the black marble headstone then remembered all the good times. He really had been deadly efficient at his job. In fact they all had so much overtime now that he was gone. He stared at the small ruby heart that was shining at the centre of the ornate grave and smiled as tears rolled down his cheek. He then dried his eyes with a red handkerchief and walked away. He knew Grell would always be with him in spirit and that he would never be lonely again.

THE END.


	2. Goodbye

Grell's last thoughts. I wonder if he knew. If he knew he just landed the final blow. If he wanted to kill me. If he cared. I guess not.

I love them all. But none of them love me. They never have. I hope they will miss me. Probably not.

I hope I die as beautifully as Eric and Alan. I know I won't though I won't even come close. No one will fight to save me. I wish they would.

I wonder if they will ever forgive all my sins and all I have done. Probably not.

Will they ever know? Know that I tried to save them. That I took so many beatings from their enemies so that they wouldn't have to face them. Will they know how many times I took the fall for their failings? That I tried to save Eric and Alan. Definitely not.

I hope they can forgive me. I hope they will one day accept me for who I was. I hope...I hope...that they, all of them, live long and happy lives now that I am gone and can't bother them.

Grell saw a bright light as Eric and Alan walked calmly towards him. They welcomed him as an old friend. "Will they be alright?" he asked them.

"You've done as much as you could Grell. No one knows what the future holds but they will heal. They always do." Eric told him calmly.

"Time to say your goodbyes Grell" Alan told him in a calm familiar voice.

"Goodbye Will, Sebastian, Ronald, Undertaker, everyone else, I love you. I always have and I always will. Nothing and no one can take that away. Goodbye..." A single tear fell from Grell's eye as he walked peacefully into the calming light with Alan and Eric. "goodbye" He whispered. He gave a smile that no one had ever seen and now they never would. It was a smile of a sad peace. Then he died calmly and painlessly as though he was just falling asleep.


End file.
